"This Place Stinks! Lets get out of here" - The Joy of small children in Historic Houses

I had a family from Indiana on my tour this morning at the Vanderbilt Mansion. They had three small children, an older girl who said nothing, a middle son with red hair and thick glasses who asked lots of questions and a little girl who frequently proclaimed her hatred for stinky museums. The parents seemed to get even less out of the entire experience than their children. Upon entering the visitors center, I could already see that I was in for an adventure or sorts when the son opened up his bag of Doritos which of course makes his hands covered in greasy cheesy goodness. His father luckily informed his son he could not bring them into the mansion so I didn't have to play the bad-ranger. The little girl had a long strand of blue plastic ribbon which trailed far behind her which her mother informed me was her imaginary long hair, I informed the mother it would have to be reeled in. And the older girl, said nothing. We made our way over to the mansion and the little boy started his questions.

Kid - Soooo, you said that anything you could want in a home is here yes?
Me - Thats right, the Vanderbilts had all kinds of luxuries in this house
Kid - Sooo, did they have a couch that you sit in and you can just stay in the couch and not have to move and you could just have a cotton candy machine come to you and bring you some cotton candy?
Me - Sort of, its called a Butler!

     So we got to the mansion and I informed the family the importance of not touching anything inside of the house because it is all really old and fragile. The little girl continued to wrap her blue ribbon around and the older girl, said nothing. The little boy asked,

Kid - Soooo, if the guy who lived here came here today could he touch anything inside?
Me - Sure, he paid for all of the expensive things in here. But he is no longer here.
Kid - Hes dead!
Me - Yup!

    Inside we go and the little girl looks around and says, "I hate museums!" and flops down to the floor, where she remains for a good deal of the tour. I tried to get her interested in the painting in the golden room. "Go and see the pretty ladies on the ceiling", to which I got a rather blank look.And the older girl, said nothing. When we entered the main living room, I was explaining about the lights and house the mansion was one of the first in the area to have electricity. So the little boy asked,

Kid - Soooo,with these lights, did they clap them on and off like in my friend's house? (to his mother) William's house has the clapper!
Me - No, the clapper wasn't invented yet. They had the Butler to turn off the lights.

The little girl screamed out once again, "I hate museums" and the older girl, said nothing. We made our way upstairs and I let them look at all of the bedrooms and explained that not all of the bathrooms can be seen but they are behind some of the closed doors which of course led the little boy to ponder,

Kid - If all of the bathrooms are behind the doors, how is anyone going to know where they are? Does everyone just use this bathroom because we all can see it?

Goodness, moving on....So then I try to tell the story about the servants and I showed the family the butler's pantry and explained that the food was prepared in the kitchen in the basement and brought up to the butler's pantry to be taken into the dining room. This very much confused the little boy,

Kid - Now wait....umm, umm, if they bring the food down to the basement, wont it get cold?
Me - No, no, the bring the food from the basement, up here to bring into the dining room.
Kid - But why do they bring it down to the basement?
Me - They don't, they make it down there and bring it up here, I guess they might bring any left overs down to the basement.
Kid - But so where is it going?
Me - Into the dining room.
Kid - Then down to the basement?
Me - Why don't we go see the kitchen!

Downstairs, I continued to try to explain the dumbwaiter system to the boy so he could see what I was saying....I hope he got it. As I finish up with the servant's story and show them where they were to exit, the little girl said "This Place Stinks!! Lets get out of here!!" and the older girl, said nothing.

     

My loyalist point of view

So I have to write an essay for my exam in my Revolutionary War class and I am taking on the role of a loyalist in Boston in 1766. I am writing to my brother in Scotland who is studying medicine there and I am warning him of the issues in the colonies.


Dearest Brother,

I do so hope that you will continue your studies in Scotland and not give any more thought to coming to these troublesome colonies. Some of my neighbors believe that we as British citizens should not be taxed so harshly. The stamp act of which many of them dislike so much is of little consequence to me. Our King protected these colonies from the french and their savage allies and our we just supposed to say thank you and move on? We must do our part to pay for that expensive war. Many of my neighbors say that they would be happy to pay taxes if they had representation in parliament but none of our colonies have that, why should Boston be so fortunate? The crown is rule but I doubt these men, these sons of liberty understand that. The acts of a few dishonorable men have included hanging stamp officials in effigy and even the destruction of Andrew Oliver's home who is of course connected with the stamp act. I understand these people got what they wanted as the poor man resigned his commission. Can you imagine, a man of the crown being bullied from his post? What madness is here! Now I understand that parliament is going to send troops from his majesty's army and quite right too. If I were to take up a post of collecting on the King's behalf I would most definitely want the army here to protect me. We need to have a time of reason again my brother. There are far to many who believe in taking the law into their own hands and distorting it far from what the King desires. Parliament will no doubt repeal this act but there will be others and then what? More rebels? More destruction? The King will most assuredly come down hard on this colony and others who should do the same.

I remain your moste humble servt,

Lord So and So